Britney Spears: Must-See HDTV

On September 22 at 9 p.m. ET, MHD will stand for 'Must-See' HD because that's when the high-def channel from MTV Networks will air the first HDTV broadcast of Britney Spears' meltdown at last Sunday's MTV Video Music Awards.

I, for one, can hardly wait -- being the kind of person who enjoys watching train wrecks and other man-made disasters. According to press reports, Britney opened the show by wandering around the stage like a lost soul (which she clearly is) while singing her new single, Gimme More. In her glory days (just three years ago!) the title would have carried a sexual connotation. But now Gimme More could be her cry for seconds at Ruby Tuesday.

Wearing a two-piece outfit on Sunday, her once sleek body was encased in thick fat, the kind that doesn't come off with a few trips to the gym. Brit has put on so much weight that Oops, I Did It Again needs to be reworked as Oops, I Ate It Again. Spears was once known as a pop tart, but now it looks like all she does is eat Pop Tarts.

Of course, for MHD, the still young HDTV network, this is manna from Heaven, to continue the food theme. Standard-def MTV scored big ratings on Sunday thanks to Brit and I have to assume that MHD will get its biggest audience ever on Sept. 22. In high-def, every nervous tic, every lip quiver, every empty gaze and every roll of fat will be gloriously exposed.

This could be the thing that puts MHD on the map. In fact, maybe some rubber-neckers will even run to the store to get a high-def set for the big occasion.

To see the HD Diva's daily program picks, go to: "10 Hottest Shows in HDTV!"

To get the latest high-def news, go to: TVPredictions.com

To get the latest "celebrity sightings" from the HD Diva, go to: HD Diva's Celebrity Watch!

HDTV: KC Anchorman Sweats the 'Fuzzies'

Larry Moore, news anchor at KMBC-TV in Kansas City.

High-Definition TV's ultra-clear picture is giving both celebrities and local broadcasters fits. (Really, who knew that Brad Pitt had a skin problem? Well, high-def viewers now do.) But it's rare to actually hear one of the technology's victims talk publicly about the dangers of being seen in HDTV. However, Larry Moore, the 6 p.m. news anchor at KMBC, the Kansas City ABC affiliate which recently switched to HD newscasts, blogged this week at the station's web site about how HD is changing the way he delivers the news.

"Viewers have asked me in e-mails, on the phone, and on the street my reaction to moving to a new building and hi-def TV," he writes. "For me, it means a little longer putting on makeup. Since hi-def shows everything I have to make sure the makeup is put on properly, not just applied like I used to do. It's a process that takes a little longer and we've had some professional training as to how to do it. In the studio which is now in the newsroom, we've been working out the bugs. Sometimes the microphones are on when they are not supposed to be. Sometimes you hear things you aren't supposed to hear. Sometimes teleprompters don't work the way they are supposed to and we make mistakes reading to you. Hi-def picks up everything even the tiniest spots or fuzzies. We keep a lint remover on the set so we can take away lint and anything else that might distract you on the screen."

I'm not sure that's what Larry went to J-school for -- to learn how to remove the lint from his jacket right before he relays the latest casualty reports from Iraq. But high-def is changing everything.

To see the HD Diva's daily program picks, go to: "10 Hottest Shows in HDTV!"

To get the latest high-def news, go to: TVPredictions.com

To get the latest "celebrity sightings" from the HD Diva, go to: HD Diva's Celebrity Watch!

McCain vs Hillary In HDTV!

Sen. John McCain on the August 28th Tonight Show With Jay Leno.

Sen. Hillary Clinton on the August 30th Late Night With David Letterman.

CNN has announced that it will broadcast two presidential debates in November in glorious High-Definition. But, oh dear, last week we got a sneak peek at how two of the leading candidates will look in high-def during their appearances on the late night talk shows. And it wasn't pretty.

Let's start with Sen. Hillary Clinton, who guested on Thursday night's (August 30) Late Night With David Letterman. After watching Mrs. Clinton for a few minutes, I couldn't help but think of that famous line from the first Austin Powers movie: "That's a man, baby!" In high-def, Hillary looked remarkably masculine with thick eyebrows, David Spade-like haircut and a tan pants suit that could have gotten her into a Gertrude Stein poetry reading night without having to pay a cover. The overall look wasn't helped by the fact that her neck was redder than the state of Alabama in the 2004 presidential election. She really needs to think about covering that thing up in future appearances. It looks raw and unhealthy in high-def.

Now, let's get to McCain, who was on Tuesday night (August 28) on the Tonight Show With Jay Leno. McCain is now 71 years old and there's no hiding it in high-def. He looks so feeble and doddering despite his best efforts to appear energetic. To make matters worse, he repeated an old joke that Sen. Bob Dole used to tell about having trouble sleeping at night: "I slept like a baby. I woke up every two hours crying." When you're trying to look fresh and young, you don't quote someone even older than you. McCain likes to say he's a maverick, but at this point, he looks older than the original maverick, James Garner.

And I would be remiss if I didn't mention that his face just doesn't benefit from high-def thanks to the cancer surgery he underwent on his left cheek. It's an unfortunate thing to have to mention, but the voters will notice it when he's in HD during the debate. And we all know how importance appearances are in presidential debates. Just ask Dick Nixon -- well, if he was alive, that is.

As we get closer to the new HDTV debates in November, I'll have more to say (Or maybe Swanni will) on how the rest of the candidates look in high-def.

To see the HD Diva's daily program picks, go to: "10 Hottest Shows in HDTV!"

To get the latest high-def news, go to: TVPredictions.com

To get the latest "celebrity sightings" from the HD Diva, go to: HD Diva's Celebrity Watch!

Michael Bay Puts Down Kool Aid; Endorses HD DVD

I noted yesterday that Transformers director Michael Bay was screaming his outage at Paramount's decision to exclusively back HD DVD in the high-def format war with Blu-ray. In a post at his personal web site, Shootfortheedit.com, he even vowed not to make Transformers 2 for Paramount. But then several hours after posting his outrages, he seemed to back track a bit with a new comment posted by his site's webmaster. I then quipped that he would probably be signing up for one of those Michael Imperioli HD DVD commercials before long.

Well, get the cameras ready because Bay issued another post last night at his web site:

"Last night (August 20) at dinner I was having dinner with three Blu-ray owners, they were pissed about no 'Transformers' Blu-ray and I drank the Kool-Aid hook, line and sinker. So at 1:30 in the morning I posted -- nothing good ever comes out of early a.m. posts mind you -- I overreacted. I heard where Paramount is coming from and the future of HD and players that will be close to the $200 mark which is the magic number. I like what I heard.

"As a director, I'm all about people seeing films in the best quality possible, and I saw and heard first-hand people upset about a corporate decision.

"So today I saw '300' on (HD DVD), it rocks! So I think I might be back on to do Transformers 2!"

In Hollywood, consistency is not the currency of choice.

To see the HD Diva's daily program picks, go to: "10 Hottest Shows in HDTV!"

To get the latest high-def news, go to: TVPredictions.com

To get the latest "celebrity sightings" from the HD Diva, go to: HD Diva's Celebrity Watch!

HDTV War: Michael 'Baying' at the Moon

Michael Bay, director of Transformers.

In the olden days, people used to say that dogs, particularly wild ones, would "bay at the moon" when they were overcome with frustration and anxiety. They would let out a long howl skyward in the hopes that someone, perhaps the moon itself, would answer them.

Today, the human equivalent of "baying at the moon" is starting your own web site and posting your comments on the day's events. Just ask Michael Bay.

Bay, arguably the worst director in modern times, went off at his web site (ShootFortheEdit.com) today on Paramount's decision to back HD DVD exclusively in the high-def disc format war against Blu-ray. The man who just directed the summer smash Transformers for Paramount vowed that he would not direct the sequel because of the decision.

"For them to deny people who have Blu-ray sucks! They were progressive to have two formats. No Transformers 2 for me!" he bayed at the moon.

Now this is the guy who also directed Pearl Harbor, Bad Boys, Bad Boys II and The Island -- all the cinematic equivalent of baying at the moon. Overripe films that made no sense but were overflowing with booming special effects. Just like Bay's comments today. More noise than substance. And like his films, his comments today drew a lot of attention, but ultimately left you feeling unsatisfied because...

...By this afternoon, it appears that someone punched some sense into Bay (agent, perhaps?) because his site's administrator posted a new comment from Bay saying he just wants everyone to be able to see his movies. The vow not to direct Transformers 2 had vanished.

Probably by tomorrow, he'll be doing one of those Michael Imperioli TV commercials for HD DVD.

To see the HD Diva's daily program picks, go to: "10 Hottest Shows in HDTV!"

To get the latest high-def news, go to: TVPredictions.com

To get the latest "celebrity sightings" from the HD Diva, go to: HD Diva's Celebrity Watch!

Creepy Chris Matthews In HD On Tonight's '30 Rock'

Chris Matthews gets a closer look at CNBC's Erin Burnett.

Is there anyone on the planet more creepy than Chris Matthews?

The 61-year-old host of MSNBC's Hardball leers and leches whenever a female guest under the age of 30 comes on. Or, he simply just comes on to her as he did last week when CNBC's Erin Burnett tried to offer some financial analysis from her remote studio in New Jersey. At the end of the segment, Matthews implored the sparkly-eyed Ms. Burnett to come closer to the camera, apparently for his sexual jollies. When she blinked -- literally and figuratively -- Matthews belted out a belly laugh and told her that she was a "knockout," a characterization he doesn't extend when the grisly Jim Cramer is a guest.

Well, anyhoo, you can see Mr Creepy himself tonight in high-def during an encore performance of 30 Rock on NBC at 8:30 p.m. ET. Matthews plays himself -- oh, joy -- interviewing a character from the show.

To see the HD Diva's daily program picks, go to: "10 Hottest Shows in HDTV!"

To get the latest high-def news, go to: TVPredictions.com

To get the latest "celebrity sightings" from the HD Diva, go to: HD Diva's Celebrity Watch!

4 High-Def Sights Better Left Unseen

I love high-def. Love it! But it isn't always pretty. In fact, here are four things I've seen lately that I can only say would have been better left unseen.

1. Glenn Close's Chest
That's right. Glenn Close's chest. The 60-year-old star of FX's Damages recently showed up on Late Night With David Letterman wearing a low-cut dress that would have put the fear of God in Christopher Hitchens. (He's an atheist; get it?). Talk about damages, her chest looked like a strawberry patch, it was so raw. Glenn, cover up, please, and wear some sun lotion the next time you go to the beach!

2. David Letterman's Face
The cranky late night host sometimes likes for the camera to come in for an extreme close-up for comedic effect. But Dave, no! Your face has more creases than a 10-year-old pair of pants.

3. Bill Maher's Clothes
The 51-year-old host of HBO's Real Time With Bill Maher is starring this month in a concert special on HBO wearing an outfit better fit for a 15-year-old. Tight t-shirt with a dragon emblazoned on the front; tight black jeans; sneakers. Yeech. The Real Time host needs to have a talk with Father Time. You're old, Billy. Act your age!

4. Joan Rivers' 'Face'
The one-time cut-up now just cuts up her face. Enough with the face lifts, woman! Appearing last week on ABC's The View, your face was tighter than the Federal Reserve's credit policies!

To see the HD Diva's daily program picks, go to: "10 Hottest Shows in HDTV!"

To get the latest high-def news, go to: TVPredictions.com

To get the latest "celebrity sightings" from the HD Diva, go to: HD Diva's Celebrity Watch!

Rapper 50 Cent Goes 'Tyson' On Plasma HDTV

Rapper 50 Cent apparently has turned the Plasma TV into the Pinata TV.

According to The Charlotte Observer, Fiddy went Tyson on a nice Plasma set in his office recently after learning his new music video was posted on the Net without his knowledge. I guess the man who's taken his name from the sum of two quarters knows that Plasma prices have fallen over the last year -- so why not? Smash that set into little smithereens. You can get a new one now for just $1,000!

The newspaper reports that Fiddy also threw a cell phone out the window, which actually makes more sense. Cell phone companies now are practically giving those things away.

By the way, the rapper's new video is for the single, "Follow My Lead." He might want to change that to: "Follow My Cell Phone."

To get more high-def news, please click: TVPredictions.com

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Great Danes! Claire Bares All In HD!

Claire Danes on the August 2nd Tonight Show With Jay Leno.

Did you see Claire Danes on Thursday (Aug. 2) night's Tonight Show with Jay Leno? Lordy, what was that girl thinking? I know actresses feel obligated to wear their breasts on Leno and Letterman, but Claire wore a clingy, see-through dress that in high-def left little to the imagination.

Of course, I could add that there was little to see -- Claire doesn't have that much to bare up there -- but I thought her eyeballs were going to pop through the screen. And I'm not talking about the ones under her eyebrows.

Even in this lovely picture above, which doesn't have the crystal-clear perfection of high-def, you can see what I mean.

Following the commercial break after Claire's first segment, The Tonight Show's crack staff jumped into action and began shooting her a little further up North. Good for them -- but certainly not for the millions of male pervs out there who were tuning in.

I'm told that Claire actually exposed her left breast during a recent appearance on MTV Canada (sorry, pervs, don't have that picture.) so maybe she's going through an exhibitionist period.

To see the HD Diva's daily program picks, go to: "10 Hottest Shows in HDTV!"

To get the latest high-def news, go to: TVPredictions.com

To get the latest "celebrity sightings" from the HD Diva, go to: HD Diva's Celebrity Watch!

Chris O'Donnell Goes Bald For HDTV

Chris O'Donnell takes the top down for high-def.

The crystal-clear (and candid) High-Definition picture has made celebrities do a lot of strange things, like sticking needles in their face to remove wrinkles and ordering TV show producers to make their close-ups fuzzier than an angora sweater. But now it appears it has forced one TV star to shave his head.

Chris O'Donnell plays CIA agent Jack McAuliffe in the new TNT drama, The Company, and his character is shown from his college years all the way up to his balding 60s. But O'Donnell says the usual balding cap used by actors to cover one's curly locks just won't do for high-def.

"With HD now, you can't do a bald cap because you can see the lines," he tells Entertainment Tonight. "So we were all shaved bald for five or six months."

John Travolta, take note. You think people don't know the scoop on your toup -- but the high-def viewer does!

To see the HD Diva's daily program picks, go to: "10 Hottest Shows in HDTV!"

To get the latest high-def news, go to: TVPredictions.com

To get the latest "celebrity sightings" from the HD Diva, go to: HD Diva's Celebrity Watch!

More On the Late Night HD 'Breastfest'

And here's Jennifer Lopez from Monday night's Tonight Show. Hmm, where is Jay looking? And...where are those hands going?! (See The HD Diva's commentary, "Why Do Actresses Show Their Breasts to Leno & Letterman?" below.)

Part Two: Why Do Actresses Show Their Breasts to Leno & Letterman?

Cameron Diaz opens up on The Tonight Show.

A few days ago, I received several e-mails after I posted a little HD observation about the incredible number of actresses who proudly exhibit their breasts on both the Jay Leno and David Letterman shows. I noted that in the past week alone, Catherine Zeta-Jones (with breasts allegedly recently enhanced), Anne Hathaway and Catherine Bell all wore their breasts for the viewing pleasure of Mr. Dave.

But one e-mailer writes that I'm late to the game with this observation about the late night "breastfest." He sent me a photo (see above; but how could you miss it?) of Cameron Diaz all but flashing Jay Leno during an appearance last year on The Tonight Show.

On Monday night, Jennifer Lopez didn't flash Jay but she did wear a low-cut dress with her goods beaming like headlights on a 1957 Chevrolet. In high-def, you could draw rings about them.

As a chick, I understand the power of the breast, particularly when displayed in front of a powerful man like a late night network talk show host. But I still am amazed...How about you?

To see the HD Diva's daily program picks, go to: "10 Hottest Shows in HDTV!"

To get the latest high-def news, go to: TVPredictions.com

To get the latest "celebrity sightings" from the HD Diva, go to: HD Diva's Celebrity Watch!

Celebrity Watch: Less Is Not (Michael) Moore

Michael Moore on the July 27th Tonight Show.

Thank God for the widescreen TV.

Michael Moore, whose latest film Sicko takes on the health care industry, was a guest Friday night on The Tonight Show With Jay Leno. Some people say the controversial filmmaker is larger than life in a symbolic sense. After seeing him in high-def, I think he's just larger than life period.

Despite allegedly going on a diet, Moore seems to be bigger than ever, a fact not lost on the always observant Jay Leno. He asked Moore if he was concerned about his own health after making Sicko. Before the filmmaker could answer, Jay added, "Obviously not."

And they say I'm cruel.

Moore did say that he's trying to walk every day to lose weight, but it appears that he's walking to McDonald's. (Perhaps the documentary maker should check out that other documentary, Super Size Me.) He added that he recently "discovered" fruits and vegetables, but apparently not on his dinner plate.

To Moore's credit, he finally seems aware that he must lose weight -- and sooner than later. I wish him the best of luck -- and I do mean that sincerely. It's not easy to lose weight, particularly if you've never taken the mission seriously. But for someone who's always harping about the nation's health care, it would seem like a good idea that he spend more time worrying about his own.

To see the HD Diva's daily program picks, go to: "10 Hottest Shows in HDTV!"

To get the latest high-def news, go to: TVPredictions.com

To get the latest "celebrity sightings" from the HD Diva, go to: HD Diva's Celebrity Watch!

Catherine Zeta-Jones: 'Wearing Her Breasts' On Dave

Here's a photo of Catherine Zeta-Jones "wearing her breasts" as an accessory on Late Night With David Letterman on Wednesday night. See previous post below.

Why Do Actresses Show Their Breasts to Leno & Letterman?

David Letterman looks a little startled by Anne Hathaway's low-cut dress.

I've been watching Jay Leno and David Letterman in high-def lately and I can't help but take note how often actresses come on wearing their boobs like they were an accessory. Yes, wearing their boobs. For some reason, many of today's top female thespians feel obligated to wear dresses cut so low that they would make a baby cry when they appear on The Tonight Show or Late Night.

What's up with this? Is this a Dave and Jay thing? Do the actresses think Dave and Jay are some old pervs who want to ogle the goods while they chat about inane topics like the weather in LA or how often they take out the trash?

For instance, Anne Hathaway was on Dave last night (July 27) and, okay, she has a better UpFront presentation than a broadcast network, but she was certainly doing her best to get Dave's attention. Noting the dress, Dave actually joked that she must doing something hot after the show, but Anne said, "No, Dave, it's just for you." In high-def, you could actually see the beads of sweat dripping down her cleavage. Some sight.

Two nights before, Catherine Zeta-Jones was popping out all over the place; you could almost see the hyphen between Zeta and Jones. I thought Dave was going to have to go back for heart surgery. His face looked a little flushed; maybe the Viagra started kicking in.

Anyhoo, it's an interesting observation...

To see the HD Diva's daily program picks, go to: "10 Hottest Shows in HDTV!"

To get the latest high-def news, go to: TVPredictions.com

To get the latest "celebrity sightings" from the HD Diva, go to: HD Diva's Celebrity Watch!

Photo: Rob Schneider as Lindsay Lohan

There's been a lot of press buzz about comedian Rob Schneider's send-up of Lindsay Lohan on Tuesday's Tonight Show With Jay Leno. (Lohan was booked on the show, but the Santa Monica police decided to book her first so Jay asked Rob to sit in as LL.) Barbara Walters blasted the segment as being unfair to the troubled actress. So I thought you guys might want to see a picture so you could decide for yourself.

To see the HD Diva's daily program picks, go to: "10 Hottest Shows in HDTV!"

To get the latest high-def news, go to: TVPredictions.com

To get the latest "celebrity sightings" from the HD Diva, go to: HD Diva's Celebrity Watch!

Bill Maher: Scariest Man In HDTV!

Bill Maher in HD during his HBO special, The Decider.

Have you seen Bill Maher's new HBO special, The Decider? If you haven't, just wait until October when Halloween comes; in high-def, it will give you the scare of your life.

The special, which first aired Saturday night (July 21), is a live performance of Maher's stand-up routine from the Berklee Performance Center in Boston. But for some deep, neurotic reason, the 51-year-old Maher chose to wear the outfit of a 15 year-old: tight black t-shirt with a dragon emblazoned on the front, tight "You'll have to pour me into them" dark jeans and black sneakers.

I know Maher likes to date 15-year-olds -- well, okay, 18-year-olds -- but give me a break. You're not 15 anymore, Billy. Grow up!

I haven't seen anything so embarrassing on TV in my life. Maher's regular HBO show is called Real Time With Bill Maher, but this man doesn't know the first thing about getting real.

To make matters worse, Maher looks terrible in high-def. His pasty, Albino-like features makes the Pillsbury Doughboy look like he has a tan.

So if you decide to watch The Decider, don't say I didn't warn you.

To see the HD Diva's daily program picks, go to: "10 Hottest Shows in HDTV!"

To get the latest high-def news, go to: TVPredictions.com

To get the latest "celebrity sightings" from the HD Diva, go to: HD Diva's Celebrity Watch!

Catherine Zeta-Jones In HD: Now That's a Movie Star!

Catherine Zeta-Jones in HD on the July 25th NBC Today Show

Catherine Zeta-Jones this morning (July 25) came by NBC's Today Show to hawk her new film, No Reservations, which co-stars Aaron Eckhart. And all I can say is: Now that's a movie star. In high-def today, her sultry dark looks and charisma just jumped off the screen, making Matt Lauer look like a department store mannequin. As Swanni once said, in HD even the hyphen between Zeta and Jones looks good.

It must be said that she doesn't quite carry the perfect 10 figure from the Entrapment days. Now that's she entrapped Michael Douglas and had some rug rats, her body has a bit more Traffic going on than it used to. Plus, in high-def, you can see that she has the beginnings of those telltale wrinkles around her lips, suggesting that she's puffing the weed too much. But I can't imagine any man would have any reservations if Mrs. Douglas came calling.

To see the HD Diva's daily program picks, go to: "10 Hottest Shows in HDTV!"

To get the latest high-def news, go to: TVPredictions.com

To get the latest "celebrity sightings" from the HD Diva, go to: HD Diva's Celebrity Watch!

Keira Knightley's "Pimps" In HD

So, I was watching the Pirates of the Caribbean on Blu-ray HDTV DVD last night (looks fabulous, by the way) and I couldn't help but notice that in some scenes Keira Knightley looked like she had the measles. I mean, you could play connect the dots with all the little pimples popping on her forehead. Now, I'm not being catty -- okay, maybe a little; she is a pretty young lass, even with the zits, and I am a touch jealous -- but it was amazing to see such a facial imperfection on what everyone thinks is such a perfect face. Goes to show what this high-def thingy can do.

I read somewhere that KK will sometimes wear her hair in bangs to cover up the little pimps. But I guess her character in Pirates wouldn't have been the same with a bangcut.

To see the HD Diva's daily program picks, go to: "10 Hottest Shows in HDTV!"

To get the latest high-def news, go to: TVPredictions.com

To get the latest "celebrity sightings" from the HD Diva, go to: HD Diva's Celebrity Watch!

Hats Off to Sandy Bullock In HD

Sandra Bullock on last night's (July 18th) Tonight Show With Jay Leno.

Did you watch The Tonight Show in high-def last night (July 18)? Sandra Bullock was on and it's good to see an actress who couldn't care less how she looks in public. Wearing a hat that looked like it was bought in a Britney Spears yard sale, Sandy was slumming. The Miss Congeniality star wasn't going to win any beauty contest, that's for sure...

To see the HD Diva's daily program picks, go to: "10 Hottest Shows in HDTV!"

To get the latest high-def news, go to: TVPredictions.com

To get the latest "celebrity sightings" from the HD Diva, go to: HD Diva's Celebrity Watch!