Washington, D.C. (January 11, 2009) -- Right about now, thousands of people who attended this week's Consumer Electronics Show are dragging their sorry butts to the McCarran International Airport In Las Vegas for the long journey back home.
Yes, the show is finally over -- and I think I speak for everyone when I say:
Thank God!
But before we put the lid on the 2009 CES, I want to issue my 'Best of Show' awards.
No, the Swanni 'Best Of Show' awards is nothing like the 'Best of Show' awards that organizations like CNET issue every year; CNET's 'Best Of" awards are for the best new tech products that will never succeed in the marketplace. (Really, CNET, just once, couldn't you pick a 'Best Of Show' product that consumers actually might buy someday?)
The Swanni 'Best Of Show' awards honor CES special performances and dubious achievements perhaps unseen by some attendees. So, without further adieu, let's get to the first award!
Best Mike 'Brownnie' Brown Impression
Goes to...FCC Chairman Kevin Martin!
The FCC chief is arguably more responsible for the disaster known as the Digital TV transition than any other single person. For the past year, while the transition program exhibited serious flaws, Martin chose to spend his time on countless anti-cable TV initiatives, most of which were wisely ignored by his fellow commissioners.
And then on Saturday at CES, Martin went politically tone deaf, saying next month's switchover date of February 17, 2009 should not be changed despite a growing chorus (including President-elect Obama) saying it should be.
It's just a matter of time before Obama removes Martin as FCC chief. Perhaps before he does, he can tell him that he's done a heckuva job.
Best Example of Not Understanding the TV Audience
Goes to...Yahoo!
At CES, Yahoo! unveiled several deals with TV makers to install their Internet widgets on their screens. The widgets, which will be positioned at the bottom of the TV screen, will allow viewers to click on them and access related information via the Net.
But here's the problem, Yahoo!
Viewers don't want more clutter on their TV screen; they want less. People are already complaining about network logos and sports scoreboards in the corner of their screens during games. Do you think they will invite even more graphics to obscure their sensational looking high-def picture?
Answer: No!
Yahoo! needs! to! get! back! to! what! it! does! best! -- whatever that is these days!
Best Wishful Thinking of the Week
Goes to...Panasonic!
Several TV makers this week proudly displayed new sets that can display 3-D images. But perhaps no TV maker was more bullish on the technology than Panasonic which even had a motto for it: "You've stepped up to HD, now step into 3D."
If Panasonic doesn't watch out, they're going to step in it all right. While 3-D has some potential in movie theaters, home viewers have not shown much enthusiasm for donning special goggles while sitting around the old living room. They also are not likely to pay more money for TVs that offer 3-D features.
Now I know that's what Panasonic (and other TV makers are) hoping for -- that people will be enticed to spend more money for televisions. But it's just wishful thinking, guys.
One day -- oh, I trust, one day -- the industry will finally understand that Americans want their television experience to be relaxing, simple and convenient; not interactive, complicated and costly.
Best Chutzpah Display of the Week
Goes to...Enderle Group analyst Rob Enderle!
In a CES interview this week with the Times of London, Enderle blasted the Blu-ray high-def disc format, saying he's not convinced that it will ever go mainstream. What Enderle conveniently neglected to tell the newspaper is that he predicted that HD DVD would defeat Blu-ray in the high-def format war, making him a less than reliable forecaster on the subject.
"I’ve just recently written a number of columns pointing to the fact that HD-DVD sales appear to have a significant lead in the market and calling HD-DVD the winner," Enderle exclaimed in October 2006 at the web site, Technology Pundits.
Best Waste of Everyone's Time
Goes to...Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer!
Once again, a top Microsoft executive (this time CEO Steve Ballmer; in previous years, it was Chairman Bill Gates) droned on and on in the pre-show keynote speech about how all screens (PCs, TVs, etc.) will converge as one. Microsoft officials have been giving this speech now for 15 years and convergence hasn't happened yet; few people are watching primetime TV shows on their handhelds and PCs or doing their PC tasks on TVs. But, for some reason (hmmm, money talks perhaps?), CES officials keep inviting Microsoft back to bore everyone silly with this nonsense.
Best Waste of Technology
Goes to...OLED and LCD Makers
Okay, we have flat-panel LCD and Plasma sets that measure less than four inches deep. And many of us have mounted those sets on the wall. But some TV makers aren't satisfied; at CES, they introduced new OLED and LCD sets that measure less than one inch thick.
But why? Will it really look better on the wall if it measures less than one thin thick instead of three inches? If it's mounted on the wall, you probably won't even be able to tell the difference.
Dear God, some tech officials just have too much time on their hands.
Best Howard Hughes Impression
Goes to...DIRECTV!
For the second straight year, DIRECTV chose to effectively ignore CES -- no press conference; no major HD announcements; nothing. What are they trying to tell us about the conference?
Best Use of Irony In CES TV Show Title
Goes to...Jeopardy!
With attendees walking the halls muttering about this year's economic doldrums, Sony was broadcasting an actual TV show on the floor that carried an apt title for the times: Jeopardy!
Comment on this article!
Yes, the show is finally over -- and I think I speak for everyone when I say:
Thank God!
But before we put the lid on the 2009 CES, I want to issue my 'Best of Show' awards.
No, the Swanni 'Best Of Show' awards is nothing like the 'Best of Show' awards that organizations like CNET issue every year; CNET's 'Best Of" awards are for the best new tech products that will never succeed in the marketplace. (Really, CNET, just once, couldn't you pick a 'Best Of Show' product that consumers actually might buy someday?)
The Swanni 'Best Of Show' awards honor CES special performances and dubious achievements perhaps unseen by some attendees. So, without further adieu, let's get to the first award!
Best Mike 'Brownnie' Brown Impression
Goes to...FCC Chairman Kevin Martin!
The FCC chief is arguably more responsible for the disaster known as the Digital TV transition than any other single person. For the past year, while the transition program exhibited serious flaws, Martin chose to spend his time on countless anti-cable TV initiatives, most of which were wisely ignored by his fellow commissioners.
And then on Saturday at CES, Martin went politically tone deaf, saying next month's switchover date of February 17, 2009 should not be changed despite a growing chorus (including President-elect Obama) saying it should be.
It's just a matter of time before Obama removes Martin as FCC chief. Perhaps before he does, he can tell him that he's done a heckuva job.
Best Example of Not Understanding the TV Audience
Goes to...Yahoo!
At CES, Yahoo! unveiled several deals with TV makers to install their Internet widgets on their screens. The widgets, which will be positioned at the bottom of the TV screen, will allow viewers to click on them and access related information via the Net.
But here's the problem, Yahoo!
Viewers don't want more clutter on their TV screen; they want less. People are already complaining about network logos and sports scoreboards in the corner of their screens during games. Do you think they will invite even more graphics to obscure their sensational looking high-def picture?
Answer: No!
Yahoo! needs! to! get! back! to! what! it! does! best! -- whatever that is these days!
Best Wishful Thinking of the Week
Goes to...Panasonic!
Several TV makers this week proudly displayed new sets that can display 3-D images. But perhaps no TV maker was more bullish on the technology than Panasonic which even had a motto for it: "You've stepped up to HD, now step into 3D."
If Panasonic doesn't watch out, they're going to step in it all right. While 3-D has some potential in movie theaters, home viewers have not shown much enthusiasm for donning special goggles while sitting around the old living room. They also are not likely to pay more money for TVs that offer 3-D features.
Now I know that's what Panasonic (and other TV makers are) hoping for -- that people will be enticed to spend more money for televisions. But it's just wishful thinking, guys.
One day -- oh, I trust, one day -- the industry will finally understand that Americans want their television experience to be relaxing, simple and convenient; not interactive, complicated and costly.
Best Chutzpah Display of the Week
Goes to...Enderle Group analyst Rob Enderle!
In a CES interview this week with the Times of London, Enderle blasted the Blu-ray high-def disc format, saying he's not convinced that it will ever go mainstream. What Enderle conveniently neglected to tell the newspaper is that he predicted that HD DVD would defeat Blu-ray in the high-def format war, making him a less than reliable forecaster on the subject.
"I’ve just recently written a number of columns pointing to the fact that HD-DVD sales appear to have a significant lead in the market and calling HD-DVD the winner," Enderle exclaimed in October 2006 at the web site, Technology Pundits.
Best Waste of Everyone's Time
Goes to...Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer!
Once again, a top Microsoft executive (this time CEO Steve Ballmer; in previous years, it was Chairman Bill Gates) droned on and on in the pre-show keynote speech about how all screens (PCs, TVs, etc.) will converge as one. Microsoft officials have been giving this speech now for 15 years and convergence hasn't happened yet; few people are watching primetime TV shows on their handhelds and PCs or doing their PC tasks on TVs. But, for some reason (hmmm, money talks perhaps?), CES officials keep inviting Microsoft back to bore everyone silly with this nonsense.
Best Waste of Technology
Goes to...OLED and LCD Makers
Okay, we have flat-panel LCD and Plasma sets that measure less than four inches deep. And many of us have mounted those sets on the wall. But some TV makers aren't satisfied; at CES, they introduced new OLED and LCD sets that measure less than one inch thick.
But why? Will it really look better on the wall if it measures less than one thin thick instead of three inches? If it's mounted on the wall, you probably won't even be able to tell the difference.
Dear God, some tech officials just have too much time on their hands.
Best Howard Hughes Impression
Goes to...DIRECTV!
For the second straight year, DIRECTV chose to effectively ignore CES -- no press conference; no major HD announcements; nothing. What are they trying to tell us about the conference?
Best Use of Irony In CES TV Show Title
Goes to...Jeopardy!
With attendees walking the halls muttering about this year's economic doldrums, Sony was broadcasting an actual TV show on the floor that carried an apt title for the times: Jeopardy!
Comment on this article!
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Phillip Swann is
president and publisher of TVPredictions.com. He has been quoted in
dozens of publications and broadcast outlets, including CNN, Fox
News, Inside Edition, The New York Times, The Washington Post, The
Chicago Tribune, The Financial Times, The Associated Press and The
Hollywood Reporter. He can be reached at swann@tvpredictions.com
or at 703-505-3064.
Click TVPredictions.com to read more news and features on TV
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