News Feature
Swanni's Annual 'Best & Worst' HDTV List
Jessica Alba looks even better in high-def, but Teri Hatcher and Demi Moore should run for cover.
By Phillip Swann

Editor's Note: The High-Definition TV picture is so clear that aging signs and skin imperfections are dramatically visible. Phillip Swann, president of TVPredictions.com, generated international media attention for his 2004 list of the 10 celebrities who look better -- and worse -- under the unforgiving lens of high-def. Now, Swanni has named his 2005 'Best and Worst' in HDTV. If you're a member of the media and would like to interview Swanni about HDTV and/or "The List," call 703-505-3064 or e-mail: swann@tvpredictions.com

Swanni's 10 'HDTV Horribles'

1. Teri Hatcher
In high-def, the Desperate Housewives star looks really desperate. Hatcher's forehead is covered with bulging veins, making it look like a page from a AAA Road Map. And speaking of traveling, she looks like she hasn't driven to a restaurant in years. Hatcher is so skinny that she makes Calista Flockhart look like Queen Latifah. At the 2005 Emmys (the pre-show Red Carpet appearances were broadcast in high-def on INHD), Hatcher's face looked horrible.

2. Demi Moore
Yikes, boyfriend (husband?) Ashton Kutcher stars in That 70s Show, but his main squeeze looks like she belongs in That 50s Show. Moore is only 42, but her skin is extremely coarse and leathery. She also has those tell-tale wrinkles around her lips, suggesting she's a chain-smoker. In case she hasn't noticed, frequent smoking is terrible for the skin -- and it shows up in high-def. Moore used to be in the Brat Pack, but her face looks like it's been buried in a cigarette pack.

3. Donald Trump
And speaking of the Emmys, Trump's face on the 2005 pre-show HD broadcast looked more puffed up than one of his hotel's quarterly reports. I haven't seen fatter cheeks since before Oprah went on a diet. Plus, at the Emmys, Trump's face was covered with an odd mixture of orange and white. Donald, I have two words for your HDTV make-up man: You're fired!

4. Heather Locklear
The 44-year-old TV star is a classic case of the 'HDTV effect.' In regular TV, she still looks great, sexy as ever. But in high-def, the aging lines and wrinkles are everywhere. She looks like a different person.

5. David Letterman
Speaking of lines, the late night host has more lines in his face than his joke writers have lines in their heads. It's amazing how different Letterman looks in high-def. In regular analog TV, he just looks his usual cranky self. But in HDTV, his face has more creases than a 10-year-old pair of pants.
 

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Also see:
Swanni's HDTV 'Oldies But Goodies'
10 'older' celebrities who look even better in high-def.

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6. President George W. Bush
I saw the president's 2004 GOP convention speech in high-def and he looked okay -- not great, but not bad.  But I saw a high-def video of Bush shortly before the New Orleans hurricane crisis and he had that thing that every second-term president eventually gets -- looking older than you really are. The president's face was haggard and coarse, as if the entire weight of the world was on his shoulders. Which, of course, it is. And, after New Orleans and the continuing struggles in Iraq, it may not get any better.


7. Ray Liotta
Hide the kids! Liotta, who often plays a mobster, looked so scary at the 2005 Emmys that I was ready for an Audience Protection Program. His face was scaly and covered with pockmarks. And his eyes were just slits; it looks like he can barely open them. Which could be an advantage when he goes to the mirror every morning.

8. Sandra Bullock
The Miss Congeniality star wouldn't win any beauty contests in high-def; she's 41, but her face looks even older in HD. Even worse, her skin looks like she's had an acne problem for some time.


9. Former President Bill Clinton
I think Monica would discard her presidential kneepads if she saw Clinton now. In high-def. the former president's face is littered with  blood-curdling corpuscles. Yeech. And the bags under his eyes are so big that you could put $100 worth of groceries in them. And, maybe it's my imagination, but his nose seems to have gotten bigger, like he's a real-life Pinocchio. As Clinton gets older, he's starting to look like the old comedian W.C. Fields.

10. Clint Eastwood
I love his work, but in high-def, Clint's face looks like his first TV show: Rawhide!

Click Here for Part Two: Swanni's 'HDTV Honeys'

© TVPredictions.com

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Phillip Swann is president and publisher of TVPredictions.com. He has been quoted in dozens of publications and broadcast outlets, including CNN, Fox News, Inside Edition, The Chicago Tribune, The Associated Press and The Hollywood Reporter. He can be reached at swann@tvpredictions.com or at 703-505-3064.

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