Washington, D.C. (October 9, 2006)
--
Thanks to the Mark Foley sex scandal, House Speaker
Dennis Hastert is in jeopardy of losing his post. So if
he is forced to resign, let's hope he doesn't do it in
front of a high-def camera.
When viewed in HD during this year's State of the Union speech, the portly politician displayed more wiggly flesh than a Mary Carey movie. Seriously, the skin on his face is looser than Rep. Foley on a computer after a few cocktails. And every time Hastert's head moves, his jowls shake and seem ready to erupt, as if a volcano is hiding in his cheeks.
House Speaker Dennis Hastert
And speaking of those cheeks, in high-def, they are a raw crimson red. Very unhealthy looking. I would comment on his eyes, but I couldn't find them -- even in high-def. Somewhere amid all that facial flesh, they are there, but don't ask me where.
I'm poking fun a bit here, but seriously, Hastert is a mess in high-def. It's hard to imagine how a human form could get so misshapen, so jowly, so damn fat. I realize that the House Speaker doesn't look that great in normal TV, but he's a disaster in HDTV.
In all, after viewing Hastert in high-def, I couldn't decide whether he looked more like:
Star Wars' Jabba the Hut (without glasses, of course.)
OR
Piggly Wiggly, the symbol of the grocery chain.
Either way, Hastert is not exactly HDTV friendly.
When viewed in HD during this year's State of the Union speech, the portly politician displayed more wiggly flesh than a Mary Carey movie. Seriously, the skin on his face is looser than Rep. Foley on a computer after a few cocktails. And every time Hastert's head moves, his jowls shake and seem ready to erupt, as if a volcano is hiding in his cheeks.
House Speaker Dennis Hastert
And speaking of those cheeks, in high-def, they are a raw crimson red. Very unhealthy looking. I would comment on his eyes, but I couldn't find them -- even in high-def. Somewhere amid all that facial flesh, they are there, but don't ask me where.
I'm poking fun a bit here, but seriously, Hastert is a mess in high-def. It's hard to imagine how a human form could get so misshapen, so jowly, so damn fat. I realize that the House Speaker doesn't look that great in normal TV, but he's a disaster in HDTV.
In all, after viewing Hastert in high-def, I couldn't decide whether he looked more like:
Star Wars' Jabba the Hut (without glasses, of course.)
OR
Piggly Wiggly, the symbol of the grocery chain.
Either way, Hastert is not exactly HDTV friendly.