A Reality Blog
The High-Def Life: Episode One
Today's stars: Elliott Gould and four babes in bikinis.
By Phillip Swann

Editor's Note: Phillip Swann, a.k.a. 'Swanni' and the president of TVPredictions.com, is writing a diary in 2006 on how High-Definition TV is changing lives, including his own Called "The High-Def Life," the blog includes the latest HDTV news and gossip -- and a peek at what's going on behind the scenes in the high-def industry. It also includes Swanni's now famous observations on how celebrities (and other things) look better or worse in HDTV. And, finally, Swanni will share with his readers what's going on in his own life, particularly as it relates to high-def. Below is episode one. To read future episodes of The High-Def Life, click Here.

January 1, 2006
USA Today: HDTV Confusing to Consumers
USA Today, which is a stickler for keeping it simple, published an article on Friday saying that High-Definition TV is too complicated for the American people. The newspaper wrote that half of high-def owners don't understand how to use their new sets and that many are returning them to the store in frustration.

No shocker there. The HDTV industry has done a terrible job of explaining high-def to consumers. I wouldn't be surprised if some people think HDTV is a sexually communicable disease. Before high-def really takes off, buying and using a HDTV needs to be as simple as plugging in a toaster. (See my: Eight Steps to Better HDTV Sales).

However, the article, which appears in a newspaper read by millions, is damaging to the industry. Many consumers who were considering buying a high-def set may reconsider after reading it.

Reader comment:
"Most of the time, most stores selling HDTV have them hooked up to the "store feed", an overamped RF input, or at best, a DVD fed with the single yellow "video" line.  It makes the few classic SD sets in the room look better!  I had to go to three stores to find one running a clean HDTV feed.  Hard to imagine, but true.  The untechnical spouse will say, correctly, "so what?", and no sale." -- Casey.

Swanni's High-Def Love Life
I have never been married (but engaged once) and I don't even have a girlfriend at this time. However, before you feel sorry for me, I have dated a stripper (and almost married her); an ex-porn actress (her boyfriend almost killed me); a few models; a nationally-known cabaret comedienne; and scores and scores of average Janes who were anything but average. I have had an interesting life, but perhaps it's now time to find an interesting wife. After all, I'm 50 years old!

So why haven't I gotten married before now? (Wait a minute, I am writing this section on Friday and I just got distracted; HDNet is airing an episode of Get Out!, which features four babes in bikinis bouncing on a boat. Here's a picture from the show:)



Now, what was I saying? Oh, yeah, why I haven't been married yet.

It's not an easy answer. I've come close a few times (including that one engagement). But, as juvenile as it may sound, I guess I wasn't ready until now. The recent death of my mother has allowed me to put more perspective in my life; previously, I was too interested in putting more life in my perspective. I always wondered if there was a more interesting person or situation just around the corner. And my suspicions were often confirmed. (If you would like to see a movie seemingly based on my life, check out Bill Murray's Broken Flowers, available Jan. 3 on DVD.)

But, yes, now I am ready to settle down. Not settle, but settle down.

That is, if it's not too late. (Again, see Broken Flowers.)

I now work from home, which makes meeting people more difficult unless I am the victim of a home burglary. So to get things started, I recently joined Match.com, the online dating service. One woman last week seemed very interested in meeting me until I suggested she take a look at TVPredictions.com. Suddenly, she didn't return my e-mails. Then, finally, she replied: "I think you should pick the 10 Sexiest Men in HDTV!!" Apparently, she didn't like my article on the 10 sexiest women in high-def. Oh, well...

On the bright side, though, I had dinner with a very nice woman on Friday night who's...26 years younger than me?! Yeah, that's right. But our age difference didn't seem to make a difference. She also had some perceptive comments about our culture's fascination with how celebrities look in HDTV. Stay tuned.

Reader comment:
"My wife & I started to read the Blog & she looked up your profile on Match.com. She thinks that since you haven’t had good luck with the strippers & porn starts you might try attracting a different kind of woman...You said that you are working out of your home so if I were you I would get the snail mail address off the website.  It might be good if you got a PO box or something.  There are some nutty women out there as you are already aware." -- Scott

Speaking of Which...
The Ottawa Sun this week published an entire article on my comments on how celebrities look different (and sometimes not so good) in high-def. To read it, click Swanni in the Sun.

The Canadian paper joins The New York Times, The Chicago Tribune and dozens of other publications who have written about my observations. But why, you ask, do I point out the facial flaws and aging signs of the stars in high-def? Am I a cruel person? (Hmm, maybe that's why I'm not married.)

No, I understand that celebrities have feelings, too. In fact, I'll never forget the time that I ran into Elliott Gould (pictured below) at a bar in Santa Monica, California, where i used to live. The actor was sitting by himself, nursing a beer.

I've been a big fan of his ever since an Oscar broadcast in the 1970s when, as a presenter, Gould gave the score of the NCAA Basketball Championship, which was airing on another channel. It was a ballsy thing to do; most Oscar presenters just read the teleprompter.

I went up to Gould, introduced myself and reminded him of that night. He looked up at me and immediately corrected me, saying that I had the score wrong. It was UCLA 92, Indiana (or whoever was playing) 89, not 92-88, as I said. Well, we became fast friends after that. We chatted for an hour about his career and why he took certain parts. (If you're a fan of Robert Altman's California Split, Gould said he originally wanted the George Segal role in the gambling film but was talked out of it by Altman.)

However, at one point, I told Gould that I was sorry to hear that the ABC sitcom, It's Like You Know, had been cancelled. Gould had a small part in the show, playing himself. I had read in Variety the day before that the show would be axed.

The actor looked at me in disbelief. "They cancelled it?! No wonder they didn't call me back!"

Shortly thereafter, Gould got up, very upset, and left the bar. He walked across the street, got into his car and drove away.

Now, Elliott Gould was once married to Barbra Streisand -- and he was one of America's biggest box office stars in the 1970s. But here's some guy in a bar telling him that his show was cancelled.

So, yes, I know that celebrities are people, too.

But I feel I have to tell the truth about what I see in HDTV. For years, Hollywood has been able to dupe us with lighting tricks, make-up and digital effects. A savvy photographer or cameraman can make almost anyone look good (even me during my TV appearances.). So, over the years, we've been made to believe that some celebrities are better looking than they really are. Consequently, their films, TV shows and CDs often perform better than they would if we thought they were just ordinary-looking folks. We buy the myth as well as the product.

But in high-def, we get to see the stars as they really look -- and there's something to be said about that. We can be the judge as to who's beautiful and who's not, rather than some Hollywood PR machine.

Plus, the stars, particularly the big ones, can handle the heat. They know that once you're in the spotlight, your life changes forever.

Click The High-Def Life to read the latest in high-def!

© TVPredictions.com
 

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Phillip Swann is president and publisher of TVPredictions.com. He has been quoted in dozens of publications and broadcast outlets, including CNN, Fox News, Inside Edition, The Chicago Tribune, The Associated Press and The Hollywood Reporter. He can be reached at swann@tvpredictions.com or at 703-505-3064.

And click TVPredictions.com to read more news and features on TV technology.