News Feature
Swanni's 2007 'Best & Worst' HDTV List!
Britney Spears might want to hide in the studio while Angelina Jolie's HD picture is worth a thousand looks.
By Phillip Swann
Editor's Note: The High-Definition TV picture is so clear that aging signs and skin imperfections are dramatically visible. Phillip Swann, president of TVPredictions.com, has generated international media attention for his 2004 list, 2005 list and 2006 list of the 10 celebrities who look better -- and worse -- under the unforgiving lens of high-def. Now, Swanni has named his 2007 'Best and Worst' in HDTV. If you're a member of the media and would like to interview Swanni about HDTV and/or "The List," call 703-505-3064 or e-mail: swann@tvpredictions.com
Swanni's 2007 'HDTV Horribles'!
1. Britney Spears
Brit has put on so much weight that Oops, I Did It Again needs to be remixed as Oops, I Ate It Again. The singer was once known as a pop tart, but now it looks like all she does is eat Pop Tarts. Her new single is called, Gimme More. In her glory days, that title would have carried a sexual connotation. But now Gimme More could be her cry for seconds at Ruby Tuesday.
And in high-def, she looks about a decade older than she really is. Her face is already showing excessive wrinkling around her lips and eyes. Overall, she looks like she belongs in a biker bar. What happened to her?! Yeech!
2. Brad Pitt
Pitt will turn 44 a week before this Christmas. But in high-def, he’s no gift to women. With those pockmarked cheeks, you half expect a space capsule to land on his face. Pitt was the star of Ocean’s 13, but in HD, he looks like he should be the star of Apollo 13 -- playing the part of the Moon!
And let me tell you, in high-def, you can see that his age has finally caught up with him. The star of Fight Club looks like he’s taken a few shots to the chops.
3. John Travolta
It‘s a guarded secret in Hollywood that Travolta wears a toupee. But in high-def, the secret is out. You can see the little artificial weaves at his temples and the top of his forehead. In HD, his "hair" is the most unrealistic looking thing I've ever seen. Travolta was the star of Saturday Night Fever, but his hair looks like it came from a Saturday Night Beaver!
4. Sylvester Stallone
Rocky can now be a description of his face. Sly has had so many facial surgeries that you can almost see the stitch marks in high-def. Remember that famous scene in Rocky when he said, "Cut me, Mick." Ever since, he's been saying the same thing to every plastic surgeon in Beverly Hills.
5. Michael Jackson
Know the old saying, "Cut off your nose to spite your face"? Well, the King of Pop took that literally. In high-def, his face looks like it belongs on an episode of Star Trek: The Enterprise. No human can look like he does without either help from George Lucas’ Industrial Light Magic -- or an industrial accident.
6. Kate Winslet
In high-def, the Titanic star reminds me of that famous line from Austin Powers: "It's a man, baby!" The older Kate gets, the more masculine she looks. And, in up-close HDTV, it doesn't look like she takes care of herself. Her skin is blotchy and ruddy
7. Bill Maher
The star of HBO’s Real Time With Bill Maher looks terrible in high-def. His pasty, Albino-like features makes the Pillsbury Doughboy look like he has a tan.
8. Dr. Phil
The 57-year-old Phil McGraw looks much older in high-def than he does in the non-HD broadcast of his daytime advice show. His face is more ashen than a California forest after a brush fire. Dr. Phil, here’s some advice for you. The next time you’re in HD on a late night talk show, put some color in your cheeks.
9. Glenn Close
The 60-year-old star of FX's Damages recently showed up on Late Night With David Letterman wearing a low-cut dress that would have put the fear of God in Christopher Hitchens. Talk about damages, her chest looks like a strawberry patch, it’s so raw. Glenn, cover up, please, and wear some sun lotion the next time you go to the beach!
10. Celine Dion
Celine is so skinny that she's like a human coat rack! Her torso is the exact same size as her hips and legs! During this year’s HD broadcast of the Oscars, the Canadian songstress warbled a tribute song to the musical composer for The Untouchables. But I think The Untouchables is what Celine calls food products.
Please click to read Swanni's
10 'HDTV Honeys' for 2007!
Swanni's 2007 'Best & Worst' HDTV List!
Britney Spears might want to hide in the studio while Angelina Jolie's HD picture is worth a thousand looks.
By Phillip Swann
Editor's Note: The High-Definition TV picture is so clear that aging signs and skin imperfections are dramatically visible. Phillip Swann, president of TVPredictions.com, has generated international media attention for his 2004 list, 2005 list and 2006 list of the 10 celebrities who look better -- and worse -- under the unforgiving lens of high-def. Now, Swanni has named his 2007 'Best and Worst' in HDTV. If you're a member of the media and would like to interview Swanni about HDTV and/or "The List," call 703-505-3064 or e-mail: swann@tvpredictions.com
Swanni's 2007 'HDTV Horribles'!
1. Britney Spears
Brit has put on so much weight that Oops, I Did It Again needs to be remixed as Oops, I Ate It Again. The singer was once known as a pop tart, but now it looks like all she does is eat Pop Tarts. Her new single is called, Gimme More. In her glory days, that title would have carried a sexual connotation. But now Gimme More could be her cry for seconds at Ruby Tuesday.
And in high-def, she looks about a decade older than she really is. Her face is already showing excessive wrinkling around her lips and eyes. Overall, she looks like she belongs in a biker bar. What happened to her?! Yeech!
2. Brad Pitt
Pitt will turn 44 a week before this Christmas. But in high-def, he’s no gift to women. With those pockmarked cheeks, you half expect a space capsule to land on his face. Pitt was the star of Ocean’s 13, but in HD, he looks like he should be the star of Apollo 13 -- playing the part of the Moon!
And let me tell you, in high-def, you can see that his age has finally caught up with him. The star of Fight Club looks like he’s taken a few shots to the chops.
3. John Travolta
It‘s a guarded secret in Hollywood that Travolta wears a toupee. But in high-def, the secret is out. You can see the little artificial weaves at his temples and the top of his forehead. In HD, his "hair" is the most unrealistic looking thing I've ever seen. Travolta was the star of Saturday Night Fever, but his hair looks like it came from a Saturday Night Beaver!
4. Sylvester Stallone
Rocky can now be a description of his face. Sly has had so many facial surgeries that you can almost see the stitch marks in high-def. Remember that famous scene in Rocky when he said, "Cut me, Mick." Ever since, he's been saying the same thing to every plastic surgeon in Beverly Hills.
5. Michael Jackson
Know the old saying, "Cut off your nose to spite your face"? Well, the King of Pop took that literally. In high-def, his face looks like it belongs on an episode of Star Trek: The Enterprise. No human can look like he does without either help from George Lucas’ Industrial Light Magic -- or an industrial accident.
6. Kate Winslet
In high-def, the Titanic star reminds me of that famous line from Austin Powers: "It's a man, baby!" The older Kate gets, the more masculine she looks. And, in up-close HDTV, it doesn't look like she takes care of herself. Her skin is blotchy and ruddy
7. Bill Maher
The star of HBO’s Real Time With Bill Maher looks terrible in high-def. His pasty, Albino-like features makes the Pillsbury Doughboy look like he has a tan.
8. Dr. Phil
The 57-year-old Phil McGraw looks much older in high-def than he does in the non-HD broadcast of his daytime advice show. His face is more ashen than a California forest after a brush fire. Dr. Phil, here’s some advice for you. The next time you’re in HD on a late night talk show, put some color in your cheeks.
9. Glenn Close
The 60-year-old star of FX's Damages recently showed up on Late Night With David Letterman wearing a low-cut dress that would have put the fear of God in Christopher Hitchens. Talk about damages, her chest looks like a strawberry patch, it’s so raw. Glenn, cover up, please, and wear some sun lotion the next time you go to the beach!
10. Celine Dion
Celine is so skinny that she's like a human coat rack! Her torso is the exact same size as her hips and legs! During this year’s HD broadcast of the Oscars, the Canadian songstress warbled a tribute song to the musical composer for The Untouchables. But I think The Untouchables is what Celine calls food products.
Please click to read Swanni's
10 'HDTV Honeys' for 2007!
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Swanni (Phillip Swann) is
president and publisher of TVPredictions.com. He has been quoted in
dozens of publications and broadcast outlets, including CNN, Fox
News, Inside Edition, The New York Times, The Washington Post, The
Chicago Tribune, The Financial Times, The Associated Press and The
Hollywood Reporter. He can be reached at
swann@tvpredictions.com
or at 703-505-3064.
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