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News Feature
Swanni's 2004 'Best & Worst' in HDTV
Which celebrities look better -- or worse -- in High-Definition TV?
By Phillip Swann
Editor's Note: There is no escaping the naked lens of High-Definition TV. The picture is so clear that aging signs and skin imperfections are clearly visible. Below is Swanni's 2004 "Top 10" list of which celebrities look better -- and worse -- in high-def. To see Swanni's 2005 HDTV 'Best & Worst,' click Swanni!
If you're a member of the media and would like to interview our president, Phillip Swann, call 703-505-3064 or e-mail: swann@tvpredictions.com
Swanni's 2004 'HDTV Horribles'
1. Cameron Diaz
The actress has had a terrible acne problem since high school; her cheeks and forehead are littered with unfortunate pockmarks. Ms. Diaz seems like a different person in HDTV; she looks more like a Charlie than an Angel.
2. Michael Douglas
The actor was once considered a Hollywood sex
symbol. But now, in HDTV, he looks more like Kirk
Douglas than Michael Douglas. Being married to
Catherine Zeta-Jones doesn't help, either. He appears
even older when he's standing next to her. The Wall
Street star looks like eight miles of bad road.
3. Britney Spears
The pop tart is still in her early 20s, but she looks about
10 years older in high-def. Her face is puffy and she's
starting to show wrinkle marks around her lips,
reportedly from a two pack-a-day cigarette habit.
4. Brad Pitt
Like Ms. Diaz, Pitt had a terrible skin problem in his
younger years. The impact is clear in high-def. He's
still a good-looking guy, but he doesn't look like one
of People Magazine's "Most Beautiful."
5. Jewel
The singer looks great in still photos and music videos,
but she looks terrible in high-def. And someone should
help her with make-up; it looks like it was done
by Ringling Bros.
6. Renee Zellweger
Ms. Zellweger is a cutie, but her cheeks look like
she's had a Rosacea problem; very visible in high-def.
7. William Devane
The veteran actor plays Secretary of State James Heller
in Fox's 24, but he looks like hell in high-def. Devane,
who once played John F. Kennedy in a docudrama
about the Cuban Missile Crisis, should duck and
cover the next time they ask him to star in a
HDTV program.
8. Bill Maher
The comedian/political commentator is scary in high-def. And I mean, scary. His skin is pasty and white, making him look like an Albino. Make that an Albino who doesn't get much sleep. It's a good thing that HBO
doesn't air his weekly talkfest in HDTV.
9. Jamie Lee-Curtis
Oh, my God. With her short-cropped graying hair
and crow's feet, she looks like a guy in high-def.
What happened to her? Christopher Guest, be my
guest. Buy your wife some Botox! And, a wig!
10. Joan Rivers
Someone should pull the rug over this red carpet
host! In HDTV, you can almost count the stitch marks from her various facial surgeries. Do you remember
that song, "Old Man River"? Well, how about,
"Old Woman Rivers"?
Swanni's 2004 'HDTV Honeys'
1. Anna Kournikova
The occasional tennis player looks even more beautiful in high-def. Her skin is glistening and luscious. It's easy to see why her matches sell out despite her limited talents. It's not love-15; it's love Anna.
2. Catherine Zeta-Jones
The star of Chicago and Traffic is absolutely gorgeous and it shows in high-def. Pity the aging Michael Douglas when he has to stand beside her in the high-def broadcast of an awards show. (See "Worse") The actress is so beautiful in high-def that even the hyphen between Zeta and Jones looks good.
3. Charlize Therzon
Whoever did her makeup for Monster should have received an Oscar. This woman is gorgeous and it's hard to believe that she was made to look so horrific in the film. At the recent Oscar awards, Theron was glowing under the HDTV lights.
4. Sting
Isn't it bad enough that this guy has all that musical talent? In his fifties, Sting still looks great in high-def.
5. Scarlett Johansson
The Lost in Translation star has the skin of a porcelain doll and looks incredible when seen in high-def. It's easy to see why Bill Murray would get lost in her gaze.
6. Halle Berry
Wow! She looks great on "regular" TV, but her beautiful skin and lips make her irresistible in high-def. This Catwoman wouldn't have to work hard to bring home the kittens..
7. George Clooney
His animal magnetism is legendary in Hollywood and it comes through in HDTV. The Oceans 11 star must be living right.
8. Angelina Jolie
Breathtaking. Like Berry, her skin and lips are just juicy. The only negative: The actress has a small mole on her forehead. In high-def, it looks like Mt. Everest..
9. Liv Tyler
How can she look so great when her father is headed for Keith Richards territory? Beautiful skin.
10. Penelope Cruz
How did Tom Cruise break up with her? Talk about Mission Impossible.
© TVPredictions.com
Swanni's 2004 'Best & Worst' in HDTV
Which celebrities look better -- or worse -- in High-Definition TV?
By Phillip Swann
Editor's Note: There is no escaping the naked lens of High-Definition TV. The picture is so clear that aging signs and skin imperfections are clearly visible. Below is Swanni's 2004 "Top 10" list of which celebrities look better -- and worse -- in high-def. To see Swanni's 2005 HDTV 'Best & Worst,' click Swanni!
If you're a member of the media and would like to interview our president, Phillip Swann, call 703-505-3064 or e-mail: swann@tvpredictions.com
Swanni's 2004 'HDTV Horribles'
1. Cameron Diaz
The actress has had a terrible acne problem since high school; her cheeks and forehead are littered with unfortunate pockmarks. Ms. Diaz seems like a different person in HDTV; she looks more like a Charlie than an Angel.
2. Michael Douglas
The actor was once considered a Hollywood sex
symbol. But now, in HDTV, he looks more like Kirk
Douglas than Michael Douglas. Being married to
Catherine Zeta-Jones doesn't help, either. He appears
even older when he's standing next to her. The Wall
Street star looks like eight miles of bad road.
3. Britney Spears
The pop tart is still in her early 20s, but she looks about
10 years older in high-def. Her face is puffy and she's
starting to show wrinkle marks around her lips,
reportedly from a two pack-a-day cigarette habit.
4. Brad Pitt
Like Ms. Diaz, Pitt had a terrible skin problem in his
younger years. The impact is clear in high-def. He's
still a good-looking guy, but he doesn't look like one
of People Magazine's "Most Beautiful."
5. Jewel
The singer looks great in still photos and music videos,
but she looks terrible in high-def. And someone should
help her with make-up; it looks like it was done
by Ringling Bros.
6. Renee Zellweger
Ms. Zellweger is a cutie, but her cheeks look like
she's had a Rosacea problem; very visible in high-def.
7. William Devane
The veteran actor plays Secretary of State James Heller
in Fox's 24, but he looks like hell in high-def. Devane,
who once played John F. Kennedy in a docudrama
about the Cuban Missile Crisis, should duck and
cover the next time they ask him to star in a
HDTV program.
8. Bill Maher
The comedian/political commentator is scary in high-def. And I mean, scary. His skin is pasty and white, making him look like an Albino. Make that an Albino who doesn't get much sleep. It's a good thing that HBO
doesn't air his weekly talkfest in HDTV.
9. Jamie Lee-Curtis
Oh, my God. With her short-cropped graying hair
and crow's feet, she looks like a guy in high-def.
What happened to her? Christopher Guest, be my
guest. Buy your wife some Botox! And, a wig!
10. Joan Rivers
Someone should pull the rug over this red carpet
host! In HDTV, you can almost count the stitch marks from her various facial surgeries. Do you remember
that song, "Old Man River"? Well, how about,
"Old Woman Rivers"?
Swanni's 2004 'HDTV Honeys'
1. Anna Kournikova
The occasional tennis player looks even more beautiful in high-def. Her skin is glistening and luscious. It's easy to see why her matches sell out despite her limited talents. It's not love-15; it's love Anna.
2. Catherine Zeta-Jones
The star of Chicago and Traffic is absolutely gorgeous and it shows in high-def. Pity the aging Michael Douglas when he has to stand beside her in the high-def broadcast of an awards show. (See "Worse") The actress is so beautiful in high-def that even the hyphen between Zeta and Jones looks good.
3. Charlize Therzon
Whoever did her makeup for Monster should have received an Oscar. This woman is gorgeous and it's hard to believe that she was made to look so horrific in the film. At the recent Oscar awards, Theron was glowing under the HDTV lights.
4. Sting
Isn't it bad enough that this guy has all that musical talent? In his fifties, Sting still looks great in high-def.
5. Scarlett Johansson
The Lost in Translation star has the skin of a porcelain doll and looks incredible when seen in high-def. It's easy to see why Bill Murray would get lost in her gaze.
6. Halle Berry
Wow! She looks great on "regular" TV, but her beautiful skin and lips make her irresistible in high-def. This Catwoman wouldn't have to work hard to bring home the kittens..
7. George Clooney
His animal magnetism is legendary in Hollywood and it comes through in HDTV. The Oceans 11 star must be living right.
8. Angelina Jolie
Breathtaking. Like Berry, her skin and lips are just juicy. The only negative: The actress has a small mole on her forehead. In high-def, it looks like Mt. Everest..
9. Liv Tyler
How can she look so great when her father is headed for Keith Richards territory? Beautiful skin.
10. Penelope Cruz
How did Tom Cruise break up with her? Talk about Mission Impossible.
© TVPredictions.com
Phillip Swann is president and publisher of
TVPredictions.com. He has been quoted in dozens of publications
and broadcast outlets, including CNN, Fox News, Inside Edition,
The Chicago Tribune, The Associated Press and The Hollywood
Reporter. He can be reached at
swann@tvpredictions.com
or at 703-505-3064.
And click
TVPredictions.com
to read more news and features on TV
technology.
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